I want to see/download free porn pictures, naked selfies, XXX photos and sex images of hot women!
Come on in—watch the drop—and I’ll be your tour guide to this ancient art form. Some young whippersnappers think porn pics have been made obsolete by the advent of high-speed video pornography. Well, I’ll be the first to say that those anti-traditionalists are fools. Back in my day, we didn’t have a choice, but you know what? Nine times out of ten, still images can be just as erotic as any video.
Don’t believe me? Don’t worry; it doesn’t hurt my feelings; I’m used to being let down. But for your sake, at least give it a try. Spend a few minutes of your time scrolling through my selections, reading my reviews, and masturbating to a few of the pieces of art known as porn pics. If you’re not convinced, I’ll give you your money back—just keep in mind that I offer my services to you for free, so your request for a refund might not get very far.
What kind of (HD) XXX galleries of nude girls, (ex-)girlfriends & world-famous pornstars can I find?
Between all of the porn picture sites I’ve found, the types of content are practically endless. If you want to masturbate to something that you can’t find on these sites, I assure you that the blame lies entirely with you, and not with the porn. At least, that’s what my therapist has told me when I tell her about my deepest, darkest, unfulfilled desires.
If you’re even one step above how fucked up I am, though, you won’t be let down. Several of the largest sites carry literally anything any normal human being could imagine. For example, you can find professional studio-produced images of pornstars to leaked girlfriend pics, to stills from amateur sex tapes.
They’ve got vanilla sex scenes, BDSM photoshoots, and pics of every fetish fit to shake a dick at. Some sites carry all of these at once, while others specialize. Some, like JJGirls, go as far as to focus on Japanese women only, and others, like Booty of the Day, focus on the thick butted babes that we all know and love.
What are the best porn pics sites in 2019?
That would depend almost entirely on what you’re looking for. Asking for the best of the best of porn pic sites is about as broad of a question as asking for the best porn video sites in general. While, as an incredibly intelligent man and dedicated porn connoisseur, I could happily and accurately answer that question, it is much better (for your benefit) for me to make a few recommendations based on the different subcategories in this genre.
If you’re a white-bread kind of person who likes his shirts ironed, his crusts cut off, and his porn simple, I’d recommend PornHub Pics and xHamster pics. While there is nothing wrong with these sites—on the contrary, their quality is pretty much unmatched—they’re also nothing exciting. This is basically what you’ll get on the video portions of these sites but in the form of still images. This isn’t anything I would ever complain about, and it’s usually where I start a long session of masturbating to pictures, but the adventurous cummer might want to look elsewhere.
Like, for example, Motherless Images. While the resolution and site features may not compare to the standard porn pic sites, this site has something that sets them apart. How should I say this… it’s fucked up. In a good way—in the best way. If you’re looking for a porn image relating to any sort of fetish that either doesn’t exist at all elsewhere or just doesn’t appear as frequently as you’d like, then Motherless is the motherlode of strange porn that you need.
Another one of my favorites is ReddPics—unlike just about every other site on my list, ReddPics only collects images from a single source, but it’s the best source of all. On a few hundred different subreddits, amateur girls freely post nude photos of themselves for reasons that I have yet to understand. ReddPics collects all of those amateur nudes and brings them all together in one place. If you want to jerk off to hot pics of real exhibitionists, it can’t be beaten.
PornGeek, how do you capture the perfect dick picture?
Pull up your search engine of choice, type “giant dick pic” and then hit search. Look through the results until you find one that looks impressive, and then send it to whatever girl you’re trying to impress. Any attempt at actually photographing a dick like mine and sending it to a girl will lead to a very early termination of whatever we had going, so while this method is risky (and immoral), it’s the best chance I’ve got.
But be careful—make sure you pick one that’s at least close to what your dick looks like, otherwise you might run into an issue when she finds out. I sent a massive eight-inch meat rod to a girl I had a crush on, and she immediately agreed to meet me. But as soon as I whipped out my mostly-average three-inch cock in that Starbucks, she recoiled in terror, ran away, and blocked my number.
Thankfully, I gave her a fake name, so I don’t think the restraining order will have any effect on me, but I somehow think that if my dick pic had been more realistic, I’d be slamming her tight pussy on a daily basis at this point. Oh well. Maybe next time—and at least you can learn from my mistakes.
Your only other option is to whip it out of your dirty sweatpants and take a quick bathroom selfie in a dirty mirror. But since girls, these days, have been tricked into thinking that the average dick is a gargantuan five inches unless you’re hung like ThePornDude, this probably won’t get you anywhere.
PornGeek, do you harass a lot of girls on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook with your dick pics?
It’s not harassment! When I find a girl so worthy of receiving a picture of my pretty little penis, she should view it as an honor and a gift, not some sort of assault against her. Of course, that hasn’t how my attempts have been perceived so far, but I think that must just be because they’re pretending to be shy. Playing it cool, so to speak—just like I watch girls from afar using binoculars rather than approach them—it’s a strategy so that they don’t think I’m coming on too strong.
Behind their deception, I know each and every one of the friends, friends’ moms, teachers, teachers’ moms, and therapists that I’ve sent my surprise gifts of dick pics to have gotten soaking wet from my pics. They like what they see; they just don’t want to come across as slutty. And that, your honor, is the statement I will be making to the court.
It looks like every girl is a fucking slut and pornstar wannabe? Look at all these leaked nude selfies!
Isn’t it amazing? Once you get down to it, girls are just like guys—everyone wants to fuck and get fucked, it’s just that girls usually try to hide it. Unless you look like ThePornDude, they pretend to be all prim and proper when you approach them on the street and ask them for nudes, but behind that façade, they’re really just like me.
In more ways than one—I would also willingly send nudes of my hot, naked body to ThePornDude if he would only ask. But instead, every time I text, email, or send a notarized letter to him, he ignores me. Pretty much, just like the girls do.
